1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and the Grounds for Divorce and Remarriage

Question

10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife is not to leave her husband; 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband is not to divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11, NASB 2020)

In verse 10, Paul instructs the married not to divorce, referring to what Jesus taught, which can be found in:

• Matthew 5:32, early in His ministry (Sermon on the Mount)
• Luke 16:18, during His Galilean ministry
• Matthew 19:9 (and Mark 10:11-12), while traveling to Jerusalem

Paul does not reveal the specific grounds for divorce he has in mind; he simply instructs the believers not to divorce.

In verse 11, Paul also forbids divorced believers from remarrying, instructing them to either remain divorced or reconcile.

He seems to confirm what Jesus said about divorce: there is a type of divorce initiated by men and approved by God, and another type initiated by men but disapproved by God. The latter would explain why believers should not remarry.

He seems to concede and make a provision for divorce: remain as you are or reconcile.

Paul seems to suggest that the grounds for divorce he has in mind do not allow remarriage, which could be for reasons other than sexual immorality (selfishness, pride, laziness, lying, etc.). Alternatively, he could be suggesting that the ground in question is sexual immorality, but because we should forgive one another as Jesus forgave our sins, even if the marriage has been broken due to adultery, we are called to forgive one another in His Kingdom and should never escalate to remarriage. Forgiveness must prevail as it can cover a multitude of sins, including adultery.

Paul could be forbidding remarriage:

• On ANY divorce ground EXCEPT sexual immorality, such as selfishness, pride, laziness, lying, etc.
• On ANY divorce ground INCLUDING sexual immorality, such as adultery as v10 seems to be a general commandment.

Questions:

1. How do you reconcile the exception clause in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 that allows remarriage, with 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 where Paul says the believing spouses who divorced must not remarry?
2. If Paul considers divorce to be a sin, why does he not confront the divorcer(s) and apply disciplinary steps found in Matthew 18:15-17?
3. Can we assume which ground(s) for divorce and no remarriage Paul had in mind?

Answer 1

1. How do you reconcile the exception clause in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 that allows remarriage, with 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 where Paul says the believing spouses who divorced must not remarry?

Matthew logically discusses adultery: Mat 5:32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of (already being an adulterer), makes her (become an adulterer), and whoever marries a divorced woman (is an adulterer). Mat 19:9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, (is an adulterer). I see nothing here that "allows remarriage". Instead, it is allocating first cause blame for each becoming an adulterer(sinner).

Paul's instructions in 1 Cor 7:10-11 are on how to deal with marital problems without either party becoming an adulterer.

2. If Paul considers divorce to be a sin, why does he not confront the divorcer(s) and apply disciplinary steps found in Matthew 18:15-17?

Here Paul is laying out a principal, possibly because of a question or innuendo in the church. Do you see evidence that he has specific people/marriages in mind? It seems that his goal is to keep situations from happening which might require discipline.

3. Can we assume which ground(s) for divorce and no remarriage Paul had in mind?

No. It seems that anything that would make it unbearable for the wife to stay with the man might be cause for separation. But a man is not to choose to quit his responsibilities(via divorce). Paul lays down general rules in 1 Cor 7, but these are not specifically intended to handle every hard case that comes up. For instance, in v11,the wife may separate and remain unmarried, but how does that fit with conjugal rights in v 5? or the unbeliever in v13 or v15?

When we nitpik this topic, is it because we want to judge others, or because of our own desires and the hardness of our heart (Mat 19:8)?

Answer 2

First, let us remind ourselves of some inescapable legal realities:

• Under Roman law in the 1st century, a woman could not divorce her husband - only a husband could divorce his wife to dissolve the marriage
• the husband needed almost not excuse for divorce; husbands were permitted (under Roman law) to divorce their wives on the flimsiest excuses, including a whim of simple displeasure
• In some circumstances, some women (like today) lived under intolerable circumstances, simply separated from their husbands (without divorce!) to escape the domestic situation. However, they remained legally married under such circumstances unless the husband decided to divorce.

It is for this reason that that Paul in 1 Cor 7 used the legally correct (for Roman law) of "separate" for the wife and "divorce" for the husband (V9, 10).

Valid reasons for Biblical Divorce

According to the Scriptures as we have them the following are valid reasons for divorce. Separation is permissible provided the parties do not remarry; or must reconcile.

1. Sexual immorality Matt 5:32, 19:9
2. If an unbelieving spouse leaves/separates/divorces, the believing partner is free, ie, not "bound".

Procedure of Matt 18:15-17

Let us examine the three-fold procedure for resolving differences in Matt 18:15-17. Jesus' procedure here is essentially optimized for disputes between believers in the church and works well for that.

However, if we have a couple who divorces for reasons other than sexual immorality and one marries another spouse, then the procedure of Matt 18:15-17 would be counter-productive - breaking up another marriage to re-form the collapsed marriage is a formula for disaster. Two wrongs do not make things right.

I suggest it is for this reason that Paul does not discuss this in 1 Cor 7.

Final Note

Note carefully what Jesus says in his advice about marriage in Matt 19 -

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hardness of heart; but it was not this way from the beginning. 9 Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”

10 His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.”

11 “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way; others were made that way by men; and still others live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Note the last two verses: "Not everyone can accept this word ... The one who can accept this should accept it.” Thus, we cannot be hard and fast about these rules in the church. For example; imagine a poor beaten wife who must endure abuse and beating several times per week for husband who is a church member (or elder); the husband has not committed any sexual immorality - should the wife leave? Obviously she should leave to preserve her life and those of her children.

Thus, such marital rules should be administered in the church with both justice and compassion.