The issue, as I see it, is a misunderstanding Paul's use of the Greek word πλάσμα (Strong's G4110 - plasma). God doesn't knit together each and every human being in the womb, but moulds/shapes/fashions the character of those who are willing to be led by Him.
6... For they are not all Israel, which are of Israel: 7Neither, because they are the seed of Abraham, are they all children: but, In Isaac shall thy seed be called.
... 9For this is the word of promise, At this time will I come, and Sarah shall have a son.
10And not only this; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, even by our father Isaac; 11( For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;)
12It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. 13As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.
19Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will?
20Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed πλάσμα say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus? 21Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honor, and another unto dishonor?
Romans 9:6-21 (KJV)
Paul says in this passage, "Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honor, and another unto dishonor?". The lump he is referring to is Isaac, and the two vessels are Jacob and Esau.
God took pleasure in (loved) Jacob because his character (foreknown to God) compelled him to advertise God's goodness to him. However, God took no pleasure in (hated) Esau because his character was compelled in no such way. This is evidenced in the passage where Jacob meets Esau on his return from Laban:
4And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept. 5And he lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children; and said, Who are those with thee? And he said, The children which God hath graciously given thy servant.
6Then the handmaidens came near, they and their children, and they bowed themselves. 7And Leah also with her children came near, and bowed themselves: and after came Joseph near and Rachel, and they bowed themselves. 8And he said, What meanest thou by all this drove which I met?
And he said, These are to find grace in the sight of my lord.
9And Esau said, I have enough, my brother; keep that thou hast unto thyself.
10And Jacob said, Nay, I pray thee, if now I have found grace in thy sight, then receive my present at my hand: for therefore I have seen thy face, as though I had seen the face of God, and thou wast pleased with me. 11Take, I pray thee,my blessing that is brought to thee; because God hath dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.
And he urged him, and he took it.
Genesis 33:6-11 (KJV)
Jacob gives God the credit for his family: "The children which God hath graciously given thy servant."; and the credit for the abundance of the blessing he presented to Esau: "because God hath dealt graciously with me." Esau, on the other hand, simply says of the things that are his: "I have enough, my brother."
God did not 'make' either of these men -- they were born, as are all men ( apart from Adam and Jesus) by means of the process of human reproduction that was included in God's design of Adam. What God did do, though, was mould/shape/fashion Jacob's character to raise him up as a patriarch of Israel (a vessel of honour), and left Esau to be moulded by his inclinations and the world around him, thus becoming a vessel of dishonour.
The truth is: all men begin as vessels of dishonour fit for destruction, but by God's leading one can become vessel of honour:
1And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins
2Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: 3Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.
4But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, 5Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, by ( grace ye are saved;) 6And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
Ephesians 2:1-6 (KJV)
Paul also says this:
19Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.
20But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honor, and some to dishonor. 21If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honor, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.
2 Timothy 2:19-21 (KJV)
So, if a man is willing to be led by God, then God will quicken him -- invest him with life that leads to honour.
There is no contradiction here, only a misunderstanding brought about by a disconnected reading of Paul's theology.