What kind of 'women's love' is David referring to in 2 Samuel 1:26?

Question

Masoretic Text
צַר־לִי עָלֶיךָ אָחִי יְהֹונָתָן נָעַמְתָּ לִּי מְאֹד נִפְלְאַתָה אַהֲבָֽתְךָ לִי מֵאַהֲבַת נָשִֽׁים׃

NRSV
I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan;
greatly beloved were you to me;
your love to me was wonderful,
passing the love of women.

Commentaries I read were saying either that:

• David had in mind his past experiences with Merab and Michal, as both were offered and taken from him;

• general love of wife to husband or mother to child and since David loved Jonathan as himself and vice versa, their love was greater;

• Jonathan relationship is to be considered as diplomatic and David says that among all diplomatic relationships with women he experienced the one with Saul's son was best.

All three of these interpretations seem stretched to me, so I ask here. Can we determine from Hebrew something that narrows down possibilities what David had in mind? And if original text is as broad as translation, how this passage was understood by ancient Jews?

Answer 1

The problem of 2 Sam 1:26 can be set as two alternatives revolving around who is loving whom in the phrase, "your love for me". Specifically,

1. David is discussing Jonathon's love for David. In this case, David says that Jonathon's love for David was more wonderful that any love that any woman had ever expressed to him, presumably including any of his wives or mother or aunts or sister(s). In support of this view, Jonathon as crown prince had everything to lose and David everything to gain; despite this Jonathon still loved David - a precious, deep friendship that David prized more than any love ever expressed to him by a woman.
2. David is discussing David's love for Jonathon. in this case, David says that David's love for Jonathon was more wonderful and meaningful that the love David had ever had or expressed to any woman, presumably including any of his wives or mother or aunts or sister(s).

In both Hebrew and LXX the phrase, "your love to me" is capable of either understanding. Ellicott appears to favour option #1, but the Pulpit Commentary is ambiguous suggesting it was the mutual love that David so valued.

Inasmuch as the LXX uses the verb "agape" to describe this love, I am inclined to believe that both options above are in view and that David and Jonathon shared one of the rare friendships with a mutual love that surpassed all others.

Answer 2

There is a general pattern in David's writing and that of his contemporary biographers - David appears to have never been all that close to any of his wives - he loves them for a while but then it wanes and he has another wife.

There is a simple evidence for this - David had so many wives - David was married to Ahinoam, Abigail, Maacha, Haggith, Abital, Michal, Eglah and Bathsheba. Each of his first six wives bore David a son, while Bathsheba bore him four sons. Altogether, scripture records that David had 19 sons by various women, and one daughter, Tamar. Further, David had ten concubines (virgins) that were in waiting for him whom Absalom defiled during his insurrection in a tent on the roof of the palace. (2 Sam 16:20-23)

I would venture to say that if David was really in love with one wife there would have been no need for any more, but that is my opinion.

By contrast - David had a life-long very close friendship with Jonathon. The friendship was amicable, tender and affectionate but most of all, enduring. It appears to have begun at the time of the Goliath incident and continued until Jonathon's death.

The Pulpit commentary has this:

Verse 26. - Thy love to me was wonderful. Never was there a purer friendship than that of Jonathan for David. It began just after the combat with Goliath, when the young prince, instead of seeing in David a rival, who had equalled his own feat of valour, took him to his heart, put upon him his own robe and armour, and thus presented him to the army as his friend and brother. Nor did his father's hatred of David, nor the knowledge that David was to inherit the kingdom, interfere with his love. He remained a dutiful son to his father, and accepted his inferior position with magnanimity, without once seeing in David cause for blame; and it surpassed the love of women, because, to requite their devotion, they look for protection and homage, the more delightful because it is paid by the strong to the weak. But here the lives of the two friends could not combine in one happy fusion of mutual union. Their hearts were bound together, but a hard fate, of which they were fully aware, made the ruin of the one the certain result of the happiness of the other. Nevertheless, Jonathan, with everything to lose, and David with everything to gain, remained true and loyal friends.

Answer 3

[Jhn 15:13 NASB] (13) "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

Hence the love of a friend who lays down their life for you surpasses what David, a man of passion and a man loathe to be alone (IE: Bathsheba), found to set the bar, which was the love of women.

Perhaps Jonathon, in meeting with and aiding David with his arrow was putting his future as king in jeopardy, or his very skin.

And it is evident that both David and Jonathon were spirit filled so they would share the love of God which far surpasses all other love. For God is love.