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In John 19:26 it says,
When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
This isn't the 1st time Jesus uses the word "woman" to refer to His mother, in John 2:4, it says,
Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.
Why didn't Jesus acknowledge Mary as His earthly mother, and instead call her "woman"?
Jesus didn't acknowledge Mary's family connection to him because the perceived significance of their earthly relationship would have affected his mission to love universally and unconditionally. Whenever we prioritise love for family, we give ourselves permission to withdraw love for others.
These two verses in John aren't the only times Jesus refused to acknowledge the significance of his genetic or family connections. In Mark, Matthew and Luke, when Jesus' family are waiting outside to speak with him, he rejects their connection to him by blood as a reason to put their desires above others:
And his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside they sent to him and called him. And a crowd was sitting about him; and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, asking for you.” And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking around on those who sat about him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother, and sister, and mother." Mark 3:31-35
In Luke, as a young boy missing for three days, Jesus refused to acknowledge any obligation to Mary and Joseph as their son:
And when they saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been looking for you anxiously.” 49 And he said to them, “How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 50 And they did not understand the saying which he spoke to them.
Later in Luke, Jesus says:
“If any one comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26
What Jesus warns us to 'hate' here is not the people themselves, but the significance of our genetic or family connections, rejecting also the evolutionary 'instincts' that prioritise survival, continuation and advantage of our specific genetic code.
Therefore Jesus addressing his mother as 'woman' is consistent with his refusal to prioritise blood relations throughout the gospels.
While it might sound strange to us in the contemporary world where such an address would be considered rude, in the language and custom of the time it was actually a respectful way to address someone.
The term woman was used like we use the term ma’am. By addressing Mary this way, Jesus does distance Himself from His mother somewhat—He was exerting His independence from her wishes—but in no way was it a rude manner of speaking. Jesus lovingly uses the same word from the cross when He tells Mary that He is entrusting her to John’s care (John 19:26).
I think another reason Jesus called His mother Woman was because #1. He was speaking to what HE created, and not the other way around. After all, He was God, here before them/us all, clothed in flesh, that He named Jesus. I have yet to find where He instructed us to do the same, when addressing our earthly parents - to call them man and woman, to show our spiritual calling/independence; nor have I found where He has corrected us, in how we address our siblings as brothers and sisters, though He has clearly pointed out, we should put/have Nothing before Him. But He could indeed do this because He was No ordinary son, from ordinary birth. And I’m sure His earthly parents had to be reminded of that from time to time, tho they knew better than us all. They might not have perceived who He was in full, as we still don’t today, but they definitely knew He was no ordinary child of theirs, which is why He may have asked them why they sought Him..He who can Never be lost..and didn’t they know He’d be in His Father’s house..? But they didn’t understand. Sometimes our families may not understand our work and commitment to the Lord either, but we must put it first, before them, nonetheless; neglecting not however, to show Christ’s love to them first, who are nearest us, and then others who are or come near us.
Jesus answered, "What have I to do with you woman?" is profound. Something that she asked about water and wine brought to Him suffering at the moment to think of it. He would suffer and shed His blood for all of us. She became one of mankind or "woman" in His suffering. Water to wine: Jesus came into the world by God and a woman and all birth is by water, the water bag breaks and birth begins. Jesus Father is God and his mother is a woman so Jesus is the God-man, but it required a woman to bring Him into the world, his blessed mother Mary. But it required His death to save mankind. Water to wine.
"While it might sound strange to us in the contemporary world where such an address would be considered rude, in the language and custom of the time it was actually a respectful way to address someone." This is not true. Even in Biblical times one would not call his mother "woman" in respect. Just like today, it would have been considered disrespectful. Part of the reason why Jesus was such a pot stirrer. Many people did not understand what he was doing. In Genesis, Woman is created from the rib of Man. Eve is not named until after the fall. Until then, she is WOMAN. Jesus calls HIS mother WOMAN because she is the new Eve. https://www.catholic.com/magazine/print-edition/how-can-you-say-that-mary-is-the-new-eve
Ellicott's Commentary for English Readers (4) Woman, what have I to do with thee?—This is an old battle-ground between Protestant and Romanist expositors. The former have found in each clause of the sentence a condemnation of Mariolatry; the latter have sought explanations not inconsistent with their faith and practice. It may be hoped that the day is now past, when anything other than thoughts of reverence and honour is to be connected with the title “Woman,” least of all in the words of One who claimed as His own highest dignity Sonship of, identity with, humanity; and who was here addressing the mother to whom He had been subject, and from whom His own humanity had been derived. Were proof needed of the tenderness which underlies the word as used by Him, it would be found in the other instances which the Gospels supply. . It is spoken only to the Syro-Phœnician whose faith is great (Matthew 15:28); to the daughter of Abraham loosed from her infirmity (Luke 13:12); and, in this Gospel, to the Samaritan embracing the higher faith (John 4:21); perhaps to the sinner whom He does not condemn (John 8:10); to the same mother from the cross (John 19:26); and to Mary Magdalene in tears (John 20:13; John 20:15).
