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It occurred to me that God did not give his son in the same sense of "giving" where we might "give a puppy" to someone, where they then are the "owners".

King James Bible John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

So I went to BDAG's Lexicon to see if there was a more specific usage of the word that would better represent what is meant and lo and behold the word has many nuanced usages:

δίδωμι (Hom.+) by-form διδῶ (B-D-F §94, 1; Rob. 311f) Rv 3:9 (δίδω Tregelles, δίδωμι v.l.), 3 sg. διδοῖ (GrBar 7:2), 3 pl. διδόασι; impf. 3 sg. ἐδίδου, ἐδίδει (Hs 6, 2, 7; cp. Mk 4:8 cod. W), 3 pl. ἐδίδουν, ἐδίδοσαν J 19:3; ptc. διδῶν (Hs 8, 3, 3); fut. δώσω; 1 aor. ἔδωκα, subj. 3 sg. δώσῃ J 17:2; Rv 8:3 v.l. (on this W-S.§14, 9; B-D-F §95, 1; Rob. 308f), 1 pl. δώσωμεν Mk 6:37 v.l., 3 pl. δώσωσιν Rv 4:9 v.l.; pf. δέδωκα; plpf. ἐδεδώκειν (and without augm. δεδώκειν Mk 14:44; Lk 19:15; J 11:57); 2 aor. subj. 3 sg. δῷ J 15:16 (δώῃ v.l.); also in the form δώῃ Eph 1:17; 2 Ti 2:25 (in both δῷ as v.l.): in all these cases read δώῃ subj., not δῴη opt., s. below; δοῖ Mk 8:37 (B-D-F §95, 2; Mlt. 55; Rdm.2 97f and Glotta 7, 1916, 21ff; GKilpatrick in Festschrift JSchmid ’63, 135), pl. δῶμεν, δῶτε, δῶσιν; 2 aor. opt. 3 sg. Hellenist. (also LXX) δῴη for δοίη Ro 15:5; 2 Th 3:16; 2 Ti 1:16, 18 (on Eph 1:17; 2 Ti 2:25 s. above); 2 aor. impv. δός, δότε, inf. δοῦναι, ptc. δούς; pf. δέδωκα LXX. Pass.: 1 fut. δοθήσομαι (W-S. §14, 8ff); 1 aor. ἐδόθην; pf. δέδομαι.
    ① to give as an expression of generosity, give, donate as a gen. principle: μακάριόν ἐστιν μᾶλλον διδόναι ἢ λαμβάνειν it is more blessed to give than to receive Ac 20:35 (Theophyl. Sim., Ep. 42 τὸ διδόναι ἢ τὸ λαβεῖν οἰκειότερον); cp. 1 Cl 2:1; Hm 2:4ff (the contrast δίδωμι … λαμβάνω is frequently found: Epicharmus, Fgm. 273 Kaibel; Com. Fgm. Adesp. 108, 4 K.; Maximus Tyr. 32, 10c ὀλίγα δούς, μεγάλα ἔλαβες; Sir 14:16; Tat. 29, 2).—On the logion Ac 20:35 s. Unknown Sayings 77–81: giving is blessed, not receiving (cp. EHaenchen on Ac 20:35; Aristot., EN 4, 3, 26; Plut., Mor. 173d). S. μᾶλλον 3c.  δὸς τοῖς πτωχοῖς give to the poor Mt 19:21 (HvonCampenhausen, Tradition u. Leben ’60, 114–56). τινὶ ἔκ τινος give someone some (of a substance: Tob 4:16; Ezk 48:12) Mt 25:8. S. also 7:11; 14:7.
    ② to give someth. out, give, bestow, grant δ. δακτύλιον εἰς τὴν χεῖρα put a ring on the finger Lk 15:22 (cp. Esth 3:10—δίδωμί τι εἰς τ. χεῖρα also Aristoph., Nub. 506; Herodas 3, 70). give τινί τι someth. to someone τὸ ἅγιον τοῖς κυσίν Mt 7:6 (Ps.-Lucian, Asin. 33 τὰ ἔγκατα τοῖς κυσὶ δότε).—A certificate of divorce to one’s wife 5:31 (Dt 24:1; conversely of the wife Just., A II, 2, 6 ῥεπούδιον δοῦσα); without dat. 19:7. Of bread (w. dat. or acc. somet. to be supplied fr. the context) 26:26f; Mk 2:26; 14:22; Lk 6:4; 11:7f; 22:19; J 21:13 (difft. Mt 14:19; 15:36; Mk 6:41; 8:6 the disciples transfer to others what they have received). W. inf. foll. δ. τινὶ φαγεῖν give someone someth. to eat Mt 14:16; 25:35, 42; Mk 5:43; 6:37; J 6:31 al. (cp. Gen 28:20; Ex 16:8, 15; Lev 10:17); someth. to drink Mt 27:34; Mk 15:23; J 4:7; Rv 16:6 (Hdt. 4, 172, 4; Aristoph., Pax 49; Jos., Ant. 2, 64; schol. on Nicander, Alexiph. 146 δὸς πιεῖν τί τινι, without dat. 198; PGM 13, 320 δὸς πεῖν[=πιεῖν]; Jos., Ant. 2, 64).—τὰς ῥάβδους GJs 9:1.—Lk 15:29 (Hipponax 43 Deg.).
    ③ to express devotion, give δόξαν δ. θεῷ give God the glory, i.e. praise, honor, thanks (Josh 7:19; Ps 67:35; 1 Esdr 9:8; 2 Ch 30:8 and oft.) Lk 17:18; J 9:24 (practically=promise under oath to tell the truth); Ac 12:23 al. δόξαν καὶ τιμήν (2 Ch 32:33) give glory and honor Rv 4:9. Through a sacrificial offering θυσίαν δ. bring an offering Lk 2:24 (cp. Jos., Ant. 7, 196 θυσίαν ἀποδοῦναι τ. θεῷ).
    ④ to cause to happen, esp. in ref. to physical phenomena, produce, make, cause, give fig. extension of mng. 1 ὑετὸν δ. (3 Km 17:14; Job 5:10; Zech 10:1; PsSol 5:9) yield rain Js 5:18; send rain Ac 14:17. τέρατα cause wonders to appear Ac 2:19 (Jo 3:3). Of heavenly bodies φέγγος δ. give light, shine Mt 24:29; Mk 13:24 (cp. Is 13:10). Of a musical instrument φωνὴν δ. (cp. Ps 17:14; 103:12; Jdth 14:9; Pind., N. 5, 50b [93]) produce a sound 1 Cor 14:7f.
    ⑤ to put someth. in care of another, entrust
    ⓐ of things entrust τινί τι someth. to someone money Mt 25:15; Lk 19:13, 15; the keys of the kgdm. Mt 16:19; perh. Lk 12:48. W. εἰς τὰς χεῖρας added J 13:3 (cp. Gen 39:8; Is 22:21; 29:12 al.) or ἐν τῇ χειρί τινος 3:35 (cp. Jdth 9:9; Da 1:2; 7:25 Theod.; 1 Macc 2:7). Of spiritual things J 17:8, 14; Ac 7:38.
    ⓑ of pers. τινά τινι entrust someone to another’s care J 6:37, 39; 17:6, 9, 12, 24; Hb 2:13 (Is 8:18).
    ⑥ to engage in a financial transaction
    ⓐ of payment pay, give τινί τι Mt 20:4; 26:15; 28:12; Mk 14:11; Lk 22:5; Rv 11:18. Fig. repay someone (Mélanges Nicole, var. contributors, JNicole Festschr. 1905, p. 246 [HvanHerwerden=PLips 40 III, 3 p. 129] λίθῳ δέδωκεν τῷ υἱῷ μου; Ps 27:4) Rv 2:23. Of taxes, tribute, rent, etc. τινὶ ἀπό τινος pay rent of someth. Lk 20:10 (cp. 1 Esdr 6:28). τὶ pay (up), give someth. Mt 16:26; 27:10; Mk 8:37; δ. κῆνσον, φόρον καίσαρι pay tax to the emperor (Jos., Bell. 2, 403) Mt 22:17; Mk 12:14; Lk 20:22. Of inheritance pay out a portion of property Lk 15:12.
    ⓑ as commercial t.t. for bookkeeping λόγον δ. render account (POxy 1281, 9 [21 A.D.]; PStras 32, 9 δότω λόγον; cp. Phil 4:15) Ro 14:12.
    ⓒ of a bank deposit, equivalent to τιθέναι put, place, deposit ἀργύριον ἐπὶ τράπεζαν put money in the bank Lk 19:23.
    ⑦ appoint to special responsibility, appoint (Num 14:4) κριτάς judges Ac 13:20; w. double acc. appoint someone someth. (PLille 28, II [III B.C.] αὐτοῖς ἐδώκαμεν μεσίτην Δωρίωνα) τοὺς μὲν ἀποστόλους some (to be) apostles Eph 4:11. τινὰ κεφαλήν make someone head 1:22. Also δ. τινὰ εἴς τι B 14:7 (Is 42:6).
    ⑧ to cause someth. to happen, give (Philo, Leg. All. 3, 106 δ. χρόνον εἰς μετάνοιαν) δ. γνῶσιν σωτηρίας=to give (his people) knowledge of salvation = to tell (his people) how to be saved Lk 1:77.
    ⑨ to bear as a natural product, yield, produce of a field and its crops καρπὸν δ. yield fruit (Ps 1:3) Mt 13:8; Mk 4:7f; fig. ἔδωκεν μοὶ Κύριος καρπὸν δικαιοσύνης αὐτοῦ GJs 6:3 (Pr 11:30).
    ⑩ to dedicate oneself for some purpose or cause, give up, sacrifice τὸ σῶμά μου τὸ ὑπὲρ ὑμῶν διδόμενον my body, given up for you Lk 22:19 (cp. Thu. 2, 43, 2; Libanius, Declam. 24, 23 Förster οἱ ἐν Πύλαις ὑπὲρ ἐλευθερίας τ. Ἑλλήνων δεδωκότες τὰ σώματα; of Menas δ. ἀπροφασίστως ἑαυτόν ‘gave of himself unstintingly’ OGI 339, 19f; Danker, Benefactor 321–23; for use of δ. in a testamentary context cp. Diog. L. 5, 72); ἑαυτὸν (τὴν ψυχὴν) δ. give oneself up, sacrifice oneself (ref. in Nägeli 56; 1 Macc 6:44; 2:50) w. dat. 2 Cor 8:5. λύτρον ἀντι πολλῶν give oneself up as a ransom for many Mt 20:28; Mk 10:45 (ἀντί 3). Also ἀντίλυτρον ὑπέρ τινος 1 Ti 2:6. ὐπέρ τινος for or because of a person or thing J 10:15 v.l.; Gal 1:4; Tit 2:14; AcPl Ha 8, 24 (on the form of these passages s. KRomaniuk, NovT 5, ’62, 55–76). ἑαυτὸν δ. τῷ θανάτῳ ISm 4:2 (cp. Just., A I, 21, 2 πυρί); δ. ἑαυτὸν εἰς τὸ θηρίον face the beast Hv 4, 1, 8.
    ⑪ to cause (oneself) to go, go, venture somewhere (cp. our older ‘betake oneself’) (Polyb. 5, 14, 9; Diod S 5, 59, 4; 14, 81,  p 243   2; Jos., Ant. 7, 225; 15, 244) εἰς τὸ θέατρον Ac 19:31; εἰς τὴν ἔρημον GJs 1:4.
    ⑫ to use an oracular device, draw/cast lots Ac 1:26.
    ⑬ to grant by formal action, grant, allow, freq. of God (cp. 7 above) ἐξουσίαν δ. (Hippol., Ref. 5, 26, 21 grant someone the power or authority, give someone the right, etc. (cp. TestJob 20:3; Jos., Ant. 2, 90, Vi. 71) Mt 9:8; 28:18; 2 Cor 13:10; Rv 9:3; 1 Cl 61:1; τοῦ πατεῖν ἐπάνω τινός tread on someth. Lk 10:19. τὴν σοφίαν τοῦ γράψαι τὴν ἱστορίαν ταύτην the ability to write this account GJs 25:1. ἔδωκεν αὐτοῖς δύναμιν καὶ ἐξουσίαν ἐπί Lk 9:1 (cp. Just., D. 30, 3 ἔδωκεν αὐτῷ δύναμιν). ταῦτά σοι πάντα δώσω i.e. put them under your control Mt 4:9 of the devil. Simple δ. w. inf. (Appian, Liby. 19 §78 ἢν [=ἐὰν] ὁ θεὸς δῷ ἐπικρατῆσαι 106 §499) δέδοται it is given, granted to someone γνῶναι τὰ μυστήρια to know the secrets Mt 13:11; cp. ἡ δοθεῖσα αὐτῷ γνῶσις B 9:8 (Just., D. 7, 3 εἰ μή τῳ θεός δῷ συνιέναι) ἔδωκεν ζωὴν ἔχειν he has granted (the privilege) of having life J 5:26. μετὰ παρρησίας λαλεῖν to speak courageously Ac 4:29 and oft. Rather freq. the inf. is to be supplied fr. the context (Himerius, Or. 38 [4], 8 εἰ θεὸς διδοίη=if God permits) οἷς δέδοται sc. χωρεῖν Mt 19:11. ἦν δεδομένον σοι sc. ἐξουσίαν ἔχειν J 19:11. W. acc. and inf. foll. (Appian, Mithrid. 11, §37; Heliodorus 5, 12, 2 δώσεις με πιστεύειν) οὐδὲ δώσεις τὸν ὅσιόν σου ἰδεῖν διαφθοράν you will not permit your holy one to see corruption Ac 2:27; 13:35 (both Ps 15:10). ἔδωκεν αὐτὸν ἐμφανῆ γενέσθαι granted that he should be plainly seen 10:40. δὸς … ῥαγήναι τὰ δέσμα grant that our chains be broken AcPl Ha 3,11f. Pregnant constr.: grant, order (Diod S 9, 12, 2 διδ. λαβεῖν=permit to; 19, 85, 3 τὶ=someth.; Appian, Bell. Civ. 4, 125 §524 ὁ καιρὸς ἐδίδου=the opportunity permitted; Biogr. p. 130 ἐδίδου θάπτειν τ. ἄνδρα)  ἐδόθη αὐτοῖς ἵνα μὴ ἀποκτείνωσιν orders were given them not to kill Rv 9:5; cp. 19:8.—Of an oath w. double inf. Lk 1:73f. S. also 17 below.
    ⑭ to cause to come into being, institute περιτομὴν δ. institute circumcision B 9:7.
    ⑮ give up, someth. that has been under one’s control for a relatively long time, give up, give back ἡ θάλασσα τ. νεκρούς the sea gave up its dead Rv 20:13.
    ⑯ to proffer someth., extend, offer χεῖρα hold out one’s hand (to someone) Ac 9:41 (cp. 1 Macc 6:58; 2 Macc 12:11; Jos., Bell. 6, 318). (τὸν) μαστὸν τῇ παῖδι GJs 5:2; 6:3.
    ⑰ In many phrases this word relates to an activity or an abstract object, and with tr. freq. determined by the noun object; cp. 13 above.
    ⓐ of humans: of a plan conceived in a meeting give counsel or advice: δ. for ποιεῖν (cp. κατά A2b β and s. s.v. συμβούλιον), which is read by some mss., in συμβούλιον δ. conspired (against Jesus) Mk 3:6. ἀφορμὴν δ. give an occasion (for someth.) 2 Cor 5:12; Hm 4, 1, 11; μαρτυρίαν δ. give testimony 1 Cl 30:7; δ. τὸ μαρτύριον bear witness AcPl Ha 4, 28; γνώμην δ. give an opinion 1 Cor 7:25; 2 Cor 8:10; ἐγκοπὴν δ. cause a hindrance 1 Cor 9:12; ἐντολὴν δ. command, order J 11:57; 12:49; 1J 3:23; ἐντολὴν καινὴν δ. give a new commandment J 13:34; εὔσημον λόγον δ. speak plainly or intelligibly 1 Cor 14:9; παραγγελίαν δ. give an instruction 1 Th 4:2; δ. τὴν ἐν [κυρίῳ σφραγίδα] seal in the Lord AcPl Ha 11, 23 (restored after the Coptic); προσκοπὴν δ. put an obstacle in (someone’s) way 2 Cor 6:3; δ. ἐκδίκησιν take vengeance 2 Th 1:8; ῥάπισμα δ. τινί slap someone J 18:22; 19:3; σημεῖον δ. give a sign Mt 26:48; τόπον δ. τινί make room for someone (Plut., Gai. Gracch. 840 [13, 3]) Lk 14:9; fig. leave room for Ro 12:19 (cp. τόπος 4); Eph 4:27. ὑπόδειγμα δ. give an example J 13:15; φίλημα δ. τινί give someone a kiss Lk 7:45.—δὸς ἐργασίαν Lk 12:58 is prob. a Latinism=da operam take pains, make an effort (B-D-F §5, 3b note 9; Rob. 109), which nevertheless penetrated the popular speech (OGI 441, 109 [senatorial decree 81 B.C.]; POxy 742, 11 [colloq. letter 2 B.C.] δὸς ἐργασίαν; PMich 203, 7; 466, 33f [Trajan]; PGiss 11, 16 [118 A.D.]; PBrem 5, 8 [117/119 A.D.]).
    ⓑ esp. oft. of God (Hom. et al.) and Christ: give, grant, impose (of punishments etc.), send, of gifts, peace τινί τι Eph 4:8; 1 Cl 60:4; τινί τινος give someone some of a thing Rv 2:17. Also τινὶ ἔκ τινος 1J 4:13. τὶ εἴς τινα 1 Th 4:8 (Ezk 37:14); εἰς τὰς καρδίας put into the hearts Rv 17:17 (cp. X., Cyr. 8, 2, 20 δ. τινί τι εἰς ψυχήν). Also ἐν τ. καρδίαις δ. (cp. ἐν 3) 2 Cor 1:22; 8:16 (cp. Ezk 36:27). εἰς τὴν διάνοιαν Hb 8:10 (Jer 38: 33); ἐπὶ καρδίας Hb 10:16 (δ. ἐπί w. acc. as Jer 6:21, and s. Jer 38:33 ἐπὶ καρδίας αὐτῶν γράψω). W. ἵνα foll. grant that Mk 10:37.—The pass. occurs very oft. in this sense (Plut., Mor. 265d; 277e) Lk 8:10; Rv 6:4; 7:2; 13:7, 14f and oft. ἐκδίκησιν διδόναι τινί inflict punishment on someone 2 Th 1:8; βασανισμὸν καὶ πένθος δ. τινί send torment and grief upon someone Rv 18:7; ὄνομα δ. GJs 6:2, χάριν δ. (Jos., Bell. 7, 325) Js 4:6; 1 Pt 5:5 (both Pr 3:34); GJs 14:2; υἱοθεσίαν AcPl Ha 2, 28; 9,12; ἄφεσιν ἁμαρτιῶν 2, 30f; μεγαλεῖα 6,13. W. gen. foll. over someone Mt 10:1; Mk 6:7; J 17:2.—B. 749. Schmidt, Syn. 193–203. DELG. M-M. TW.

BDAG doesn't use John 3:16 in any of his examples and nothing really popped out at me. So in what sense did God δίδωμι (give) his son?

One thing I notice is that it doesn't say he "gave his son to the world" but just "he gave his son that" which might provide a clue.

Usage 1, 10, 16 and 17 all seem to be possibly particularly relevant.

Might it be saying that God "offered" his only son? Perhaps usage 14, where he "caused him to come into being"?

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    I've always understood this to mean giving up one's life (as in 6:51), which makes sense in light of the previous two verses (3:14-15).
    – Lucian
    Nov 13 '17 at 19:16
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    That does make sense from a contextual point of view and is largely the way that I would like to see it read but I'm just not sure how you get there from a linguistic point of view. Any ideas?
    – Ruminator
    Nov 13 '17 at 19:51
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    Any ideas ? - Other than 3:16 and 6:51 using the same verb ? (edoken and doso are both forms of didomi).
    – Lucian
    Nov 13 '17 at 20:56
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    That does seem significant. Of course with 5 down votes, the trolls may have successfully killed this as far as this site goes. But I always love digging out these treasures just the same. But again, where do you see that usage fitting into the "menu" of usages in BDAG? I have an idea for an answer unless you beat me to it.
    – Ruminator
    Nov 13 '17 at 21:08
  • 3
    This is a very important question. It's unfortunate that some people down vote unreasonably.
    – user20490
    Nov 27 '17 at 20:55
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Even though this question seems simplistic, maybe it is worth a critical note.

Strong's Greek 1325: didomi. Short definition: I offer, give.

Christ was offered as the sacrifice in place of all of us. He took our place, as the animal sacrifices had taken the place for all the people previously. Just as Abram had been willing to offer his son.

Gen 22:13,

"13 And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son." (KJV)

Gen. 22:16,

"And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the Lord, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:" (KJV)

Which Paul rephrases in Rom. 8:21,

" He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" (KJV)

The point of the giving, the origination of the action of the offering was from God; as opposed to all other sacrifices that man brought - this sacrifice offering was from God, and man had no claim / or boast in it.

Barnes' Notes on the Bible:

"3. God gave his Son. Man had no claim on him; it was a gift - an undeserved gift." Source: here

Vincent's Word Studies:

"Gave

Rather than sent; emphasizing the idea of sacrifice." Source: Ibid.

The gift from God, the source from God, coming back again to Strong's Gr. 1325 in 1 John 3:1,

"See ye what love the Father hath given to us,..." (YLT)

This one offering proceeded forth from heaven, from the Father of all, and could not be offered or given by mankind. This one offering would replace all animal sacrifices, thereby putting an end to the sin offerings (Dan. 9:24) system under the old heaven and earth covenant in which God took no pleasure (Heb. 10:6).

His offering, His gift, His action... not ours.

3
  • Very good suggestion. "For God so loved the world that he spared not his only son but instead delivered him over to the world's mistreatment, that whoever believes in him should not die but have everlasting life". Does that capture the sense?
    – Ruminator
    Nov 27 '17 at 15:29
  • 1
    I think perhaps the sense is that God gave sacrificially. IE: Genesis 22:16 rather than Genesis 22:13.
    – Ruminator
    Nov 27 '17 at 15:39
  • 1
    Yes, that is one way of putting it.
    – Gina
    Nov 27 '17 at 23:36
0

While this Q 'seems' simplistic (as someone here wrote), it deserves some thinking because there is much disagreement over 'Son'.

While also, the verse is focussed on God, the son has no small part to play in the salvation act.

They had to do this together - The Father needed His son, and certainly Jesus, as a man, needed his God and Father to see him through to the bitter, yet glorious, end!

In what way did God “give” his only begotten son? Perhaps firstly, we should remove 'begotten' as that is not what monogenē infers.

God gave His only son! Well, did He? Some questions ask did Jesus die on the cross? Perhaps based on the concept that the Eternal Son could not die, but the human 'incarnated' version could.

(Pardon me if the explanation is not quite right - there are many variations - none of them has a clear scriptural basis so it's hard to know the better one)

Anyway, moving on. Let's go with the human son died but the eternal one didn't. Then did God really 'give' His ONLY son? We'd have to say He only 1/2 gave His son! Of course God doesn't play shifty - He is faithful, true and righteous etc.

And the devil wouldn't let Him hear the end of it - God saying one thing and doing another.

Let's see a biblical model or type for the exact scenario in question.

By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was offering up his only son Heb 11:17

He considered that God is able to raise people even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type v19

Abraham had no alternative - he had a monogenē son too! No backup plan, no other son that didn't die. How could God possibly ask Abraham to do what He wasn't willing (or able) to?

Jesus is a man as we're told in numerous places - and never told he is God the Son. Jesus said of himself,

you are seeking to kill Me, a man who has told you the truth, which I heard from God John 8:40

Did God-the-Son - the only son God had until the alleged incarnation, die? He cannot die. So did God make something else that could did - the human Jesus?

The only biblical description given for this sacrificial son is the 100% human Jesus, prophesied, born of Mary and died on the cross. Raised by His Father, granted immortal life (obviously he never had this before), made heir, and now rules with God on God's throne. This is the biblical version.

There is another version where the Eternally immortal Son was given a second human nature which experienced death on behalf of the other one. But this is totally reliant on complex human descriptors and even still remains a mystery and has no biblical references.

In what way did God give His only son? (a son foreknown from before the world was made)

The bible describes the human Jesus as God's only son, who only has pre-existence in a handful of proof-texts that deny his fleshly reality.

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses Jesus Christ having come in the flesh is of God 1 John 4:1-2

Coming in the flesh is not the same as being God and having a fleshly addition.

The son God gave cannot be God and man combined, but a human only Jesus who was born to be God's prophesied Lamb, to be made like us in every way, yet without sin.

Now since the children have flesh and blood, He too shared in their humanity, so that by His death He might destroy him who holds the power of death, that is, the devil... for this reason He had to be made like His brothers in every way Heb 2:14-17

Having a God/man Jesus is not 'like us in every way' at all!

God did GIVE His ONLY son. He totally gave him, not 1/2 gave in a masquerade fashion a son with two natures - one which could not die.

For God so loved the world, he had no need to hold anything back, and certainly God's son gave himself totally also!

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