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At least in Ephesians 6:1, Paul added "in the Lord" to denote that he wants children to obey their parents only if what their parents say is in accord with the guiding principles of God(and, if that is the case, then we are actually obliged to obey our parents, no matter what age we are, as obeying them would be synonymous with obeying God Himself[and we are undoubtedly always obliged to obey God], e.g. if our parents tell us not to spread falsehoods about a coworker that we are mad at). Clearly, Paul must not mean that we are obliged to comply with everything our parents say. If they tell us to do something that goes against God, are we not obliged to disobey them? So, what is Paul getting at here(in both Ephesians 6:1 and Colossians 3:20)?

At least in Ephesians 6:1, Paul added "in the Lord" to denote that he wants children to obey their parents only if what their parents say is in accord with the commandments of God(and, if that is the case, then we are actually fully obliged to obey our parents, no matter what age we are, as obeying them would be synonymous with obeying God Himself[and we are undoubtedly always obliged to obey God], e.g. if our parents tell us not to spread falsehoods about a coworker that we are mad at). Clearly, Paul must not mean that we are obliged to comply with everything our parents say. If they tell us to do something that goes against God, are we not obliged to disobey them? So, what is Paul getting at here(in both Ephesians 6:1 and Colossians 3:20)?

In order to "obey" someone, they have to give you a command(an authoritative order). As children grow up, parents (ideally) tend to "command" their children less and less and instead give advice, counsel, and guidance. This is extremely optimal, as parents want their children to learn independence so that when they grow up they can start a family with a mate. You see, commands are replaced by guiding principles that a parent's child can(and should) take heed of to try to implement in their own lives. When a parent's child is young, the parent is head over that child; the children are subordinate, and as obliged to obey(so long as what they ask does not go against God, e.g. steal, lie/spread falsehoods, or even perform sexual acts) their parents(though, once again, less and less as they grow older; that is, if the parents try to help their children gain independence). But when a child is grown up(not 18. I'd say somewhere around 25, as a human's prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed until 25 years old), they are (if their parents raised them right) fully equipped(in the sense that it won't be a total catastrophe, not that they will do so perfectly) to start a family; a husband to become the head, and a wife to become the body. That is why it is written, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) Ok, now I'm done.

In order to "obey" someone, they have to give you a command(an authoritative order). As children grow up, parents (ideally) tend to "command" their children less and less and instead give advice, counsel, and guidance. This is highly optimal, as parents want their children to learn independence so that when they grow up they can start a family with a mate. You see, commands are replaced by guiding principles that a parent's child can(and should) take heed of to try to implement in their own lives. When a parent's child is young, the parent is head over that child; the children are subordinate, and as obliged to obey(so long as what they ask does not go against God, e.g. steal, lie/spread falsehoods, or even perform sexual acts) their parents(though, once again, less and less as they grow older; that is, if the parents try to help their children gain independence). But when a child is grown up(not 18. I'd say somewhere around 25, as a human's prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed until 25 years old), they are (if their parents raised them right) fully equipped(in the sense that it won't be a total catastrophe, not that they will do so perfectly) to start a family; a husband to become the head, and a wife to become the body. That is why it is written, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) Ok, now I'm done.

In order to "obey" someone, they have to give you a command(an authoritative order). As children grow up, parents (ideally) tend to "command" their children less and less and instead give advice, counsel, and guidance. This is extremely optimal, as parents want their children to learn independence so that when they grow up they can start a family with a mate. Commands are replaced by guiding principles that a parent's child can(and should) take heed of to try to implement in their own lives. When a parent's child is young, the parent is head over that child; the children are subordinate, and as obliged to obey(so long as what they ask does not go against God, e.g. steal, lie/spread falsehoods, or even perform sexual acts) their parents(though, once again, less and less as they grow older; that is, if the parents try to help their children gain independence). But when a child is grown up(not 18. I'd say somewhere around 25, as a human's prefrontal cortex is fully developed until 25 years old), they are (if their parents raised them right) fully("fully" doesn't mean "perfectly." No one is ever perfect) equipped to start a family; a husband to become the head, and a wife to become the body. That is why it is written, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) Ok, now I'm done.

In order to "obey" someone, they have to give you a command(an authoritative order). As children grow up, parents (ideally) tend to "command" their children less and less and instead give advice, counsel, and guidance. This is extremely optimal, as parents want their children to learn independence so that when they grow up they can start a family with a mate. You see, commands are replaced by guiding principles that a parent's child can(and should) take heed of to try to implement in their own lives. When a parent's child is young, the parent is head over that child; the children are subordinate, and as obliged to obey(so long as what they ask does not go against God, e.g. steal, lie/spread falsehoods, or even perform sexual acts) their parents(though, once again, less and less as they grow older; that is, if the parents try to help their children gain independence). But when a child is grown up(not 18. I'd say somewhere around 25, as a human's prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed until 25 years old), they are (if their parents raised them right) fully equipped(in the sense that it won't be a total catastrophe, not that they will do so perfectly) to start a family; a husband to become the head, and a wife to become the body. That is why it is written, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) Ok, now I'm done.